Stroke That Stonker; Quick Relief for A Big Fatty In Your Pants

The worst thing for some blokes is that they can’t get it up at all. But for some randy mates, it’s the absolute opposite. Those men get a stonker, or in American terms, a hard-on or big fatty, every time a bird struts by. As embarrassing as it is for a man to not be able to get stiff enough to bang his lady proper, it can be just as embarrassing when a man’s willie gets thick any time it wants throughout the day, with no chance to stroke that stonker discretely! 

Just think of it. A man is on the Underground riding into work. Stop after stop people get on. Bodies are packed like sardines when the bloke sees a bird in a low-cut top standing on the platform and boink! He sprouts a stonker— right into the bum of the man standing in front of him! You can bet he was embarrassed as hell.

Then there is the man that’s a barrister. He jogs to court in a hurry, a murder case no less. When it’s his turn to question the main witness and sproing! His stonker shoots up, poking out like a flagpole from under his barrister’s robe.

Adventurous Ways to Get Some Relief

If a constant stonker is your problem, why not try out some new ways to get some relief and enjoyment out of it? Like these—

The Bathroom Stonk-Out

You think you know this one. You pop a stonker out in public and quickly head to the nearest loo to jerk yourself off. Well it’s time to give that stonker stroke-off a little twist— it in the women’s room!

Before you get your boxers in a twist, it’s not a suggestion to waltz right in and wank-off in front of a bunch of women (although that’s not such a bad idea either.) Do it on the sneak, at your local pub where there are loos marked by those pencil figure signs. Wait till the women’s loo is empty, then sneak on in there.

Lock the door, drop your trousers and start the stroke. Tug the tip of your cock and work it as quickly or as slowly as you like. Squeeze your balls, pump your hips if you’re the kind of bloke that likes to fantasize a little fucking while you play with yourself. Whack that stonker until it erupts in a cum rocket-launch. Feel better now? Sure you do! Just don’t forget to clean up before you sneak back out!

The Under the Desk Stonk-Out

Your cock is at it again. Randy and reacting to the messenger girl with the big bosoms who’s just brought you a parcel from a client. You sign her delivery pad and boing! Now you’ve got a big fat stonker poking out under your desk.

If you stand up and make your way to the loo, you’ll be passing a line of your work colleagues sure to give you a hard time about the big fatty poking out of your pants. So why not take care of that stonker right there at your desk?

Now don’t be twat and do it there if you are out in the open and everyone can see. Or if you do want to do that, wait till your last day at that job and share it as a goodbye present. Otherwise, if you have a door, close it. If you’re in a cubicle closed off enough, then pull a closer bit to your desk.

Reach underneath and unzip your pants, that stonker probably sprung-out of your trousers! Finger the cock shaft, rub it up and down and use that brain of yours to think of a juicy wet honeypot, dripping lube juice, just waiting on that stonker to stuff it! Close your eyes and shoot that wad into a napkin!

The Shower Stonk-Out

A common place for a stonker to pop out of nowhere is the airport, which can be a bugger of an embarrassment. The best way to stonk-out your stonker at the airport is the shower. It’s the perfect place for you to wank-off and clean at the same time.

Most airport showers are only a few quid for fifteen minutes. Just think of the luxury you have to wank and wash at the same time. So deposit those coins, strip down, grab the free body wash and get stroking that stonker. You’ll find warm water best. Lean against the shower side and let your body pump as you dream of your cock slipping and sliding between a pair of soapy titties, until you cum. Then wash off, dry off, get dressed and then you’re ready to board your flight!

Whatever adventurous and delicious way you choose to relieve that stonker, the truth is a man that always has a stonker is a lucky man indeed!

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